Self love isn’t feeling better about ourselves.
Self love is not choosing love over fear.
Self love is not vibrating higher.
Self love is letting ourselves be, crying in a heap on the bathroom floor, knowing it’s just the medicine we need.
Self love is looking in the mirror and being accountable in the times we recognize that we’ve been the ones to inflict harm.
Self love getting really honest and radically present with ourselves when we each awaken to the greed, the prejudice, the manipulation, the malicious acts we engage in.
Self love isn’t pink glitter and pom poms.
It’s not positive affirmations or vision boards.
Self love is dirty nails, tear streaked eyes, and dark nights of the soul.
It’s confrontations in which we’re willing to risk our sense of comfort.
It’s difficult conversations that call into question our very existence.
This kind of self love has less to do with my mind or my heart—but more my guts and my roots; For this kind of self love discerns. It integrates. It nourishes. It connects me to all that is.
Self love is the very act of reclaiming that which has been banished, growing into what’s been forgotten and cut away.
Of being able to own all of us, all of our humanity, no matter how messy, maligned, or low vibration.
Because if self-love only shows when things are comfortable or go according to plan, is it real?
Or has self love become just another way to keep us free from being uncomfortable, free from facing our own shit, free from doing the work?
But self love also isn’t wrapping myself up in the “me” show.
It’s about about seeing the bigger picture value of perspective, truth, and justice.
Not just centering the world on myself.
Self love is not for the fragile.
For the ones who adorn themselves in false armor.
Who deny their heritage and make money on the backs they stand upon.
The path of self love is for those who are willing to humble themselves over and over again. To be wrong and admit it and not break in the process. To develop a certain resilience in the face of injustice.
Okay, sure—Keep your light and love and prayers.
But know that to truly face and love yourself wholly will be an initiation into all the feelings, all the inner wilds, all the things about yourself and the world you’ve been hiding from your whole life.
It’s not pretty. It’s not nice. It’s not polite.
And if it is well…
Beware when the sea gets rough.
Things may go south.
Who will be there to ride out the storm with you then?