SELF LOVE

Self love isn’t just feeling better about ourselves. 

Self love is not choosing love over fear. 

Self love is not vibrating higher.

 

Self love is letting ourselves be, crying in a heap on the bathroom floor, knowing it’s just the medicine we need.

Self love is looking in the mirror and being accountable in the times we recognize that we’ve been the ones to inflict harm.

Self love getting really honest and radically present with ourselves when we each awaken to the greed, the prejudice, the manipulation, the malicious acts we engage in.

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Human. Animal. Mortal.

Today, I do not wish to be a queen. 
I do not want to be a priestess, or an empress, or a goddess. 
I do not care to be a shaman, or a healer, or a visionary. 
Indeed, in this moment, I do not desire anything that delivers me beyond the banal, the profane, the everyday. 

Right now, I release my hold on that which makes me special, exceptional, or remarkable.
For today, I just want to be human. 

 

That’s right. 

Human. 
Animal. 
Mortal. 

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The Unwelcome Visitor

I’ve been visited by an unwelcome visitor. This visitor comes bearing a gift that I do not usually care for, but it’s a gift nonetheless.

Today she arrived as a piercing jealousy, a self-doubt, a pang of unworthiness. I felt the familiar sensation of her arrival on my doorstep: the queasy stomach, the clenched jaw, the heavy eyelids, the tone of impatience. 

What to do when she arrives? I could get really quiet, hide in a back room, and pretend like I’m not home. I could build a wall of defense and refuse her entry. Or, I could open my heart to her fully, knowing her stay is temporary. 

What will she do if I do let her in? She might be a wrecking ball come to thrash through the beautiful sacred space I’ve worked so hard to cultivate. She may take up residence as an unwelcome squatter, refusing to leave my personal sanctuary. She may offer to help me clean house, taking away all the old items I’ve been holding onto knowing I should just part with. Or, she might offer me some brilliant words of wisdom and then be on her way. 

How will I ever know if I shut her out? 

 

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