There is a nagging fear underlying your inability to launch forth into your greatest, wildest, most fulfilling life possible. This fear scares you back into the cramped confines of your limiting life again and again. It is mired with anxiety, doubt, and shame of failure.
This fear is rooted in a belief that the world is an unsafe, dangerous, frightening place. Our beliefs dictate our thoughts, which control our emotions, which influence our actions in the world. If we hold a belief that the world isn't a safe place to reside, our reality and our decisions will reflect that belief.
Perhaps this belief stems from cultural conditioning, a certain religious upbringing, or other societal norms. Maybe it comes from an unstable or volatile childhood. It could even be manifested as an ancestral belief system carried through your DNA. Quite possibly its a combination of factors. But whatever the source, this fear-driven belief is holding you from stepping into your highest.
So—how can we begin to change? What can we do to support a personal transformation? How can we move forward, knowing the world is, in fact, as safe, supportive, and trustworthy as the belief which we hold about it?
We must begin first in a space of total and complete acceptance. Without judgements or shame, we must acknowledge where we currently reside. From there, it can be helpful to tune into the stories we are telling ourselves about the world.
Are you recounting a story that the world is unsafe? Most of us have no conscious awareness of the stories we choose to tell ourselves. When we wake up to our inner monologue, we begin to understand how the very language we confirm about the world is directly affecting the unfolding reality that ensues. Start to tell yourself a different story. Even if you don't necessarily believe it yet, tell it anyway.
A practice that can begin to unpack the intricacies of our fears surrounding safety and security is reflective journaling. Begin to ask yourself the following questions about the fears you hold and why you are choosing to uphold them.
- What am I afraid of? Are those fears based in my present moment experience?
- Why is this belief present to begin with? Why do I choose to uphold this belief? What do I get by staying fearful? What do I get by living in a world that is unsafe?
- What if I did not have this belief? What would my life look like? What would my life feel like?
- What is my motivation to change this belief? What can I do specifically to support changing this limiting belief?
Another practice I have found to be incredibly potent in affirming safety and security in our lives is to begin working with our inner child. For many of us, our fears and issues related to insecurity relay back to our experiences as children. Our emotional development is solidified very early on in our lives. And quite often, we have, living deep within us, a frightened, worried, and anxious little boy or girl.
The following journey has been invaluable for me and for my clients in calming the inner child and crafting new beliefs about the world.
- First, carve out a good chunk of time when you're least likely to be interrupted or distracted. I'd say 30 minutes to an hour is sufficient.
- Create a sacred space for the work to occur. Bring in any items or objects that hold special meaning to you. Perhaps light a candle, some incense, or smudge yourself with sage or palo santo. If you feel called to invoke the elements, please do so.
- Meditate quietly, on the breath or the body, for 10 minutes or so. Slip into the spaces between your thoughts and observe your passing experience in nonjudgement and presence.
- Call forth your inner child. Bring to mind an image of yourself as a young girl or boy. Notice how you feel, what is present for you.
- Take your inner child and place them on your lap. Give them a big hug. Begin to speak to them quietly, assuring them that they are safe... that they are loved... that there is nothing to fear.
- Sit with them for a while. Continue to be present with whatever it is you're experiencing. Let yourself cry/laugh/pout/wail/growl if that's what is coming forth. No judgement.
- What was your favorite game as a child? What made you feel joyous and safe? If you'd like, play with them a little. Support the maintenance of a safe and sacred space for your inner child.
- When you feel the time is appropriate, say goodbye to your inner child. Assure them again that all is well and safe, and that they are loved.
- Close the space with gratitude, perhaps chanting AUM, saying Amen, or calling forth another practice that grounds you in your body in the present moment.
Like any revolution in consciousness, consistent practice is invaluable. Keep coming back to this. I've seen powerful results from individuals who have.
And remember, our external world is a reflection of our internal one. To manifest safety, stability, and security in our outer, we must first begin to cultivate these within.
If you're curious to explore how to shatter limiting beliefs or how to work with your inner child, please contact me for information about completing a holistic life coaching session together.